Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

  • See you soon, old man.

    2

    Lost John Locke

    If you’re following the TV series, LOST, there’s no doubt you know who John Locke is. John Locke’s background is a sad one, which is why every time they feature his story in an episode my heart really goes out to him. I was even close to tears when he died in the series (but then he came back to life so yay). But why, do you ask, am I so affected by this John Locke character? The truth is, he reminds me of my father.

    Obviously, Papa is not Caucasian – duh. I can’t explain what it is exactly but I find the lines, creases, and scruffy facial hair on John Locke’s face similar to Papa’s. They kinda have the same smile, too. I’m guessing they’re around the same age (mid 50s).

    LOST is now back in circulation for the 6th and final season which means I’m gonna see more of John Locke. With that I can at least imagine my father walking and talking again. Hee. Creepy, huh.

    It’s Papa’s first death anniversary today. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 365 days that he’s been away from us. Mama and I usually talk about how it feels like Papa is just away on vacation in Bacolod and that we’re waiting for him to come back any day now. I guess that’s our way of coping, but it doesn’t necessarily help us move forward. I trust that time will.

    I still believe with all my heart that I’m gonna see him again.

    See you soon, old man.

  • A Pack Rat No More

    17

    I used to be some kind of a pack rat growing up, always insisting to keep things that have “sentimental value” even though I know I won’t find them necessary in the future. I would always think, “If I keep this item now, someday I’m gonna want to recall memories I’ve forgotten that are associated with it.” By the age of 21, I have collected lots of shoe boxes housing memorabilia and other miscellaneous stuff. You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty!

    But when your life suddenly takes a turn (one that may involve leaving the house you grew up in and moving to a whole other island) you find yourself in a situation wherein you have to choose to either let go of the useless junk or take them with you. In my case, I let it all go. Because even in letting go of the useless junk, it somehow teaches you how to move on.

    When I moved permanently to Manila, I’ve managed to hoard a whole new set of worthless crap. Because, really, old habits die hard. After a certain period of time, I again found myself stuck with too many unnecessary things (boxes, papers, clothes with stains or rips, worn-out shoes and slippers, old bags, hair clips, ribbons, paper bags, bottles of old lotion and cologne, receipts, containers of different sizes, key chains, jewelry boxes, scrunchies that have lost their elasticity, USB cables, incomplete set of crayons, pens with no ink, etc.) that I can’t seem to let go and are only causing clutter in my little world. I’ve moved apartments six times in the last four years, and every time I move, I always accumulate junk in boxes that I need to throw or give away. Disposing of these objects is kind of symbolic, you see. Saying goodbye to the old ways, and welcoming the new. I figured that if I don’t do it, I’m never gonna be able to declutter my life. Yes, my life. Because having a messy bedroom says a lot about a person! Lol.

    Not that I’m not messy now. I still am. My apartment is a haven of disorderliness but I think I’m doing a whole lot better than before. And I have an easier time disposing of things now.

    In fact, I sold two mobile phones this week that I no longer use. Before, this would be something that will stress me out because I hate letting go of personal things. But today it’s easier for me to do so. I don’t even have problems with the idea of selling my iPod Touch that’s only 7 months old.

    I know that I’m just putting too much drama in this (haha), but I guess my point is, sometimes we reach a point wherein we feel that we’re actually stepping up one level in the maturity ladder while minimizing sentimentality a bit. More importantly, we are able to decide that we no longer want to be held back by our fear of losing personal possessions. If we can move on from little things, it won’t be long until we can move on from bigger things, in some cases, from people who were previously part of our lives.

  • Pre-Sleep Ritual and Movies

    7

    Since the start of this year, I’ve developed the habit of watching movies or TV series every night to get myself to fall asleep. I think this habit started around the time I wrote this entry which is during a very low point in my life. Prior to that, I won’t be able to sleep knowing my laptop is still on. My mind would be screaming “Think of your electric bill!” or “MBP charger may get fried again, warranty had lapsed!” until I do something about it. Today I usually just let my FRIENDS DVD (which I’ve already seen countless times) play in the background while I’m asleep — I just turn it off in the morning time.

    I’ve figured out the reason behind this: I want to hear sounds before falling asleep and while I’m asleep. Strangely I prefer the sound of people talking than music. If I do not do this “ritual” I catch myself thinking about many things that bother me and in the process, these thoughts prevent me from falling asleep easily. Unless I’m too tired to think, this is what I do every night to make sure I get a good night’s rest. Especially now that I’m all alone in a small apartment. You don’t want to hear creepy noises when you’re by yourself too, do you?

    From 11:00pm onwards, after I’m done working on my freelance projects, I always watch a movie or two. I don’t know why that is but I’m really more into films and TV series than listening to music (I’m so outdated I’ve only heard of “Nine Inch Nails” when I learned about their upcoming concert here in Manila). The main reason I bought that external hard drive was so I can have something to store all my movie files in. And I know it’s not the noblest thing to do, but I download movies everyday so I have something to watch at night (you might say that I’m abusing my laptop, yes). I’m not even referring to movies that had just been released but old ones.

    Over the last few weeks, I’ve been brainstorming for movie titles to add to my collection. These are movies that I’ve seen years ago and would love to see again. Most of these are Rom-Com, cos I’m simply a sucker for that. Here are my recommendations in no particular order:

    • Bedazzled
    • Blast From The Past
    • Fools Rush In
    • The Whole Nine Yards
    • The Whole Ten Yards
    • The Terminal
    • If Only
    • Serendipity
    • A Beautiful Mind
    • There’s Something About Mary
    • A Cinderella Story
    • The Kid
    • Anger Management
    • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
    • Coyote Ugly

    … among others! Aren’t sappy old movies the best? Currently enjoying the TV series “Chuck”, too. I’d love to know your recommendations. =)

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