Trust is a delicate thing. Once it gets broken, it’s so hard to put the pieces back together again. One representation is dining at a new restaurant for the first time with zero expectations. Once you discover that the food is bad, there’s a good chance you will never go back there again. They normally only get one opportunity to prove their worth.
I wonder, is it possible for a person to love another who is close to him or her, but not to trust anymore?
For instance, I love my Dad and would do anything for him. But I can never trust him with money again. There’s a long story behind this statement — don’t worry, I won’t bore you with it. Let’s just say that when Dad gets a hold of some cash, Dad deposits it straight into the Casino. And Dad can’t be stopped!
I also have this friend that I’ve known for six years. One time, he borrowed money from me and he promised to pay me back immediately. Now it’s two years later and every time I ask him about it, he tells me that I really don’t need the money so why am I pressuring him to pay up? Then a few months ago, he bugged me to lend him some cash again. He said he’ll just return it after two weeks. Of course I’ve already learned my lesson, so I told him no. I love that friend of mine and I still enjoy hanging out with him, but I will never trust him again. Especially since he has also done this to two of my friends.
These two scenarios just happened to involve “money”, but the catalysts for failing someone’s trust could be anything: infidelity in a relationship, dishonesty between a parent and a child, betrayal between friends, slandering at the work place to get ahead, spreading gossips at church or school, deceit by an establishment or company to cause consumers to believe what is false, fraudulent behavior of an agent toward a client, false hopes given by an employer to an employee, and more.
So going back to my question, is it possible for a person to love another who is close to him or her, but not to trust anymore? I think it is. I love so many people close to me but not all of them I can trust.
I think loving someone without trusting them is possible as long as you’re not in a girlfriend-boyfriend and a wife-husband relationship. Sure you can still love a friend or a family member without having to trust them, especially with money. But I don’t think love that will sustain both parties is possible in the long run if you don’t trust your partner/spouse, be it with money, being loyal or with other matters.
I get that parent-money-trust thing. I guess my answer is that trust has many aspects too. I may not trust a person with money, but I can trust that that person will always care for me..or something like that. There are no absolutes, at least that’s what I believe. :) So I can love a person and not trust him/her in a certain aspect. And I also agree with the previous comment.
*raises hand*
But you do trust your Dad with other things, yes?
I think love has to do with the totality of the person while trust is on particular aspects. I think you trust your Dad in other aspects, right?
is it possible for a person to love another who is close to him or her, but not to trust anymore?
yes. even when you know that the person is unreliable to the core, even when they have misled or let you down, you can still love them. lalo na kapag kamag-anak.
“love keeps no record of wrongs… and the greatest of these is love.”
Michelle: I agree. It’s a whole different story if it’s about a boyfriend-girlfriend and wife-husband relationship. It’s difficult to love your partner with all your heart if you don’t trust him/her.
Camz, Aurus, Eugene: Yes, I trust my Dad with other things, except one thing. He has the ability to make a wad of money vanish into thin air in just one night! Lol.
Tarits: Pero with friends? Siguro plastikan na lang. Tupperware Party! Haha!
Hi Joni! Hi Michelle! One can also have both (trust & love) in a marriage. I’ll be honest and open here when I say that my hubby has broken my trust countless of times in the past whether it be money (and it’s big money baby, not just some petty cash), girl problems, honesty issues, etc. And my heart has been wrecked to pieces so many times. It came to a point that I wanted to leave him. I almost did. But love prevailed, every time. And I guess, because of my HUGE love for him (which nobody really sees), he’s turned into this mature and great person we all come to know now. Peter is my greatest accomplishment. It’s like rearing a child into becoming a successful adult. It’s hard work in progress but when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, every blood and sweat you poured into it becomes worth it. It may be different for other marriages coz after all, for true love to work, it takes 2 people to tango through it, not just one. So for that, we’re both lucky. ;-) Hey, I should blog about this! ;-)
Sexy Nomad: That makes sense! In a marriage, trust can be broken by one, but the other could always give the other a second chance. But that most important thing is, the one at fault should be sincere in his/her desire to change. :)
Bloghoppped from Sexynomad’s place. Joni: I agree with the tupperware party, and michelle’s comments on the lack of trust will not be able to sustain a loving relationship. let’s just say that for me, i can love someone and trust him that he cannot be trusted on certain aspects of our relationship together. :)
You can always build the trust back into the relationship back again. Slowly but surely, one step at a time as long as the love is still there. I know since I have been guilty of breakin’ my parents trust in me before, but I have proven myself day by day that I can be trusted once again. Everyone deserves a second chance as long as forgiveness is still possible. :)